Ask the doctor - emotional health

Do men think differently?

Can you settle an argument between me and my husband? He says our brains are physically the same, and we just use them differently. He claims he could multi-task, but thinks it’s more efficient to concentrate on one task. I’m not convinced he’s right.

The two halves, or hemispheres, of the brain have different functions. The left side is more analytical, while the right side looks at the bigger picture, involving emotions and value judgements. Men are more likely to be ‘left-brain dominant’, while women tend to use both sides more equally and have more connections between the two (which influences fluency). Overall, women are probably better designed to multi-task than men.

Dr Sarah Jarvis, Good Housekeeping

 

I need to talk to someone about my husband’s diagnosis

We’ve just been given the shocking news that my husband has dementia at the age of only 55. I’m distraught, and would really like to talk to other people in the same position. Are there any support groups I could contact?
I’m so sorry to hear about the problems you’re having – a diagnosis of dementia can be devastating for the whole family. Fortunately, there’s now more practical help available than ever. Almost all GPs now keep a register of patients with dementia, and should offer both an assessment of their needs, and of your needs as a carer, once a year. To talk to other people in the same position, you could ask your local social services department about support groups in your area. Alternatively, Carers UK (call 020 7922 8000 or e-mail info@carersuk.org) can put you in touch with local carers’ groups, and will also give you advice about benefits. Their carers’ line (0808 808 7777, Wednesdays and Thursdays only, 10am–12pm, 2pm–4pm) can offer you a benefits check to find out which you’re entitled to.
Dr Sarah Jarvis, Good Housekeeping

Anxiety

I get terribly over-emotional and anxious at major events. My son is getting married soon and I dread the thought of embarrassing him by bursting into tears and not being able to stop. Is there anything I can take to get me through the day?

Of course you want to feel calm on your son's big day, so I understand your concerns. There are several herbal products you can buy in health shops and it's well worth trying out a couple to see if they work for you, perhaps on a less important occasion. Doctors certainly wouldn't recommend the use of tranquillisers like Valium except in extreme cases, because they're potentially so addictive and dangerous, but if your GP knows you very well, he or she might be prepared to give you just a couple. You could take one a few days before, so you know what to expect (lightheadedness and a ‘floating' feeling, like being tipsy). Alternatively, a small dose of a beta blocker, such as propranolol 10mg, can help with the physical effects of anxiety. It would also be best to avoid drinking alcohol because it might make you feel even more emotional.
Dr Sarah Jarvis, Good Housekeeping
 

I want a remedy for depression

I get depression from time to time. St John’s Wort and prescription anti-depressants don’t work. Can you suggest anything else?

I’ve had a lot of success with 5-HTP (5-hydroxytryptophan) – a natural substance derived from the seeds of a West African medicinal plant (try Happy Days, £8.95 for 60 tablets, from www.healthspan.co.uk or 0800 731 2377). We need 5-HTP to make the ‘happy’ brain chemical, serotonin. Prescribed anti-depressant drugs also raise levels of serotonin in the brain by blocking the removal of serotonin. However, if you aren’t making much serotonin in the first place, prescribed drugs may have only a limited effect. As 5-HTP helps to boost production of serotonin in the brain, it tends to have a faster onset of action than prescription anti-depressant drugs and often produces good results in people who have not previously responded to standard treatments.
Dr Sarah Brewer, Prima

Anger issues

I have a great, if somewhat stressful, career. But lately I’ve found myself losing my temper and snapping at colleagues and I’ve now noticed people at work are starting to avoid me. How can I control this anger?

Anger is a completely normal human emotion. We all lose our temper from time to time and that’s healthy. However, problems arise when it gets out of control and becomes destructive – you need to learn to express your feelings in a more constructive way.
Firstly, try to pinpoint exactly what is triggering these outbursts. Is it possible to minimise your exposure to situations that you find most stressful? Of course, this may not always be practical, so you need to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge. Relaxation exercises can really help. When you get stressed, try breathing deeply from your diaphragm in long, slow breaths to give yourself a chance to calm down. If things get really heated, remove yourself from the fray and take time to think things through before saying anything.

In a stressful job, it’s important that you take time to unwind. Consider making some lifestyle changes to reduce your stress levels. Keep your alcohol intake down (no more than two units a day for women), take regular exercise and eat healthily. If none of these suggestions seem to work, don’t be afraid (or ashamed) to seek professional help to find out what is prompting your anger and how best to handle it. Ask your
GP about counselling services, or you could contact the British Association of Anger Management to find out more (www.angermanage.co.uk).
Dr Louise Selby, SHE
 

I want to help my stressed-out daughter

My daughter is at university and has been suffering from anxiety-related problems. She has seen her GP but I wondered which complementary remedies might help?  

Several herbal remedies have a relaxing effect to reduce stress. Valerian is among the most effective, and a product such as Sedonium (£5.99 for 30 tablets from pharmacies) can relieve anxiety and promote calmness. Many people also find Bach Rescue Remedy (£6.95 from Boots) helpful – place a few drops under the tongue whenever panic rises. Encourage your daughter to eat healthily, and perhaps take a multivitamin and mineral supplement with probiotics (such as Multibionta Tablets, £7.50 for 60 from Boots). She should also make an effort to get regular exercise, as this neutralises the effects of stress hormones.
Dr Sarah Brewer, Prima

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The answers to specific problems may not apply to everyone and are not substitutes for professional medical advice. If you're worried, see your GP. For more information, visit www.netdoctor.co.uk