Country love life

From our Cotswolds columnist, Catherine Moore, who said goodbye to inner-city London and upped sticks for Gloucestershire, for the sake of family life and more space...

'When we first moved out to Gloucestershire, as my son started in reception, only a couple of his classmates lived in single parent families. As we cracked on through the first couple of years though, the numbers steadily and surely grew.  I don't know exactly why of course, but my thinking is that lots of couples hang on until the kids start school and finding that things don't get any better when wall to wall toddler tantrums are a distant memory then towels are thrown in at a rate of knots.

'I'd say it took up until around Sean was in year 4 or 5 until the class hit the national average of around half of all the parents having split up. The age thing was probably a factor, too. With the average divorce happening at around 42 for men and 40 for women, it figures that lots of parents of ten year olds will be arguing over the CD collection and heading for the courts.

 

'So it is that lots of my friends find themselves second (or third) time around dating. And it has to be said, it's not so easy in the country. Given the oldest people out at the weekend in Stroud are about 23, local pubs and nightclubs are out.

 

'The school playground can be a source of possible new squeezes - in fact I know of one very successful marriage born of a meeting of sparkling eyes over the 3.15 pick up scramble. But it does have its limits.

 

Surely the fun of a speed dating night in the city is that you can meet hordes of possibles on one night and never have the misfortune to meet them in the street again'Some enterprising soul did set up a speed dating night a couple of weeks ago in one of our local pubs. "Singles only please" read the notices. It sounded like it had real potential to be an excruciating experience - surely the fun of a speed dating night in the city is that you can meet hordes of possibles on one night and never have the misfortune to have to meet them in the street again once they've all rejected you and left you trailing home forlorn in the rain in hideously uncomfortable heels with a shredded ego. In our bit of Gloucestershire you'd have to see the men who cruelly dismissed you - or who creeped you out - dropping their kids off at football or queueing for cheese in Waitrose.

 

'As I feared, the local speed dating night was a disaster. Only five men bought tickets and just two women. Three of the female bar staff had to make up the numbers incognito and a fight was only narrowly averted when one of the barmaid's boyfriends didn't twig exactly what was going on and felt obliged to step in and defend his lady's honour.

 

'Most of my friends have taken the route favoured by most single mums I know and heaped their hopes on the internet.  Again, I think the city singles have it easier than the country girls every time, simply in terms of the numbers game. Stroud is home to the offices of property sexpot Sarah Beeny's dating website, www.mysinglefriend.com. The idea of it is that your good friends - who can't understand why you're still single - post your details online, and you wait for the emails to roll in. But despite the fact that it's a locally based website, there are still only 14 men between the ages of 40 and 50 up for grabs in Gloucestershire. There are 420 in London. And it doesn't really take that long to get through the 14 once you get into the swing.

 

'Most of my friends have cast their net wider with www.datingdirect.com, where it seems that everyone you know who's single in Gloucestershire - and a few who aren't - are advertising their wares. Of course you do get the bizarre along with the beefcakes on such a catch all site and I've had great evening's entertainment with a single girlfriend and a bottle of wine, emailing the most sleazy chancers imaginable. Again, the supply in Gloucestershire is much more limited than in the city, but with at least a thousand chaps aged 40 - 50 to choose from, surely they can't all be lotharios and losers. Can they?

 

'Of course with all dating websites, no matter where you are, you've got to watch yourself. A London friend thought she was safe enough to finally put out after a dating a salt of the earth type she'd met online. Lying nervously in bed, waiting for him to slip into something a little more comfortable in the en-suite, she was horrified when the door opened a fraction and out was flung a size 10 patent leather stiletto followed by a shapely, if hairy, leg in fishnets. Of course excuses were made, taxis were booked. But at least, thank God, she will never have to see him in the deli queue for the rest of her life.'