Have the confidence to say ‘NO!’

Drawing the line with friends

You’ve finally quit the day job and set up as a freelance accountant. It’s early days and the business is on a shoestring. A friend suggests you could do the tax for her small company – on a much reduced rate - in order to ‘help you’ get your business off the ground.

• What the experts say… “It’s best to be honest,” says life coach Liz Tucker. “Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’. It’s a huge favour that your friend is asking. But don’t give her a flat ‘no’, as this suggests you are being unfriendly. Explain that even though you are just getting started you really can’t afford to take on such a lot of work at an uncompetitive rate. Give her the name of another freelance accountant, so she’ll realise how unreasonable her offer is. Then be prepared with a gracious compromise proposal when she comes running back to you!”

• Say ‘No’ now “Saying ‘no’ to friends is always tough, but some women can be ruthless about using that position for their own gain,” says Molly Gordon, life coach and author of business website www.authenticpromotion.com. She warns that many women undersell ourselves because we’re too anxious to please. “There are some of us who are so ‘nice’ that we’d almost rather be liked than have a profitable business,” she admits. “For emotionally charged requests, involving money, massage the person’s feelings before saying ‘no’. Let them know you’re rejecting the proposal, and not the person.”