Stop worrying yourself sick

How to stop worrying and be happy. By Eve Menezes Cunningham

Do you waste a lot of time worrying about what you'd do if your relationship ended? What would happen if you lost your job and income? How you'd cope if your kids were sick? What you'd do if you never had kids? How you'd manage if you were ill? How you're going to ever get onto the property ladder? What you'd do if, once on it, your home is flooded?

According to the National Office of Statistics, 4.7% of the adult population suffer from anxiety disorders other than depression. And it doesn't have to be as serious as a disorder to make life much more difficult than it has to be. Worrying can cause everything from insomnia, breathlessness and palpitations to nausea, weakness, sweaty palms and loss of libido.

Worst of all, chronic worrying doesn't actually make bad things any easier to deal with. Some people mistakenly think that, by expecting the worst, they're somehow prepared and it won't feel so bad. Instead, having worried just drains your energy so that when something actually does go wrong, your emotional immunity is down. It also means missing out on a lot of fun and laughter.

Cait Collins combines Tibetan Buddhist meditation with NLP. (You can find out more about her work at www.naturalmindmagic.com.) to coach groups and individuals. Cait says, 'Chronic unresolved worrying not only makes you miserable but also leads to all sorts of stress symptoms, from ulcers to skin rashes, as your body releases stress hormones from the adrenal glands.

'Worry itself is not necessarily a problem; it's just a passing emotion. We could simply notice, “Oh, there's anxiety coming up again”, and let it go at that. But we don't. Instead, we start to worry about the worry, to stoke it up, piling on the fuel.

'If we could think of our worry as the voice of wisdom, trying to get us to fulfil our true potential, we could open up to creative and constructive ways of responding to it. One person may see an event as a challenge, and be excited about it. Another may see it as an ordeal, and be anxious about it.'

 

A famous example of this was the way singers Carly Simon and Bruce Springsteen described their pre-performance sensations. Simon said she had panic attacks (heart pounding, feeling really wired and on the edge) while Springsteen talked about the amazing rush he got (heart palpitating, feeling really wired and on the edge). Cait says, 'By taking responsibility for your own response, you put yourself in the driving seat, and that is already a huge step towards alleviating anxiety.'

Can you imagine thinking of your worry as a friend? Cait explains: 'The part of you that worries is trying to keep you safe. If you're having difficulty making ends meet – somehow your outgoings are always more than your income – you're right to be worried. The fact that worry is an uncomfortable emotion prompts you to take action.'

Psychotherapist and author Carol Martin-Sperry offers these tips for reducing your worries: 'Take it one day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow today. And prioritise. You can't do it all so think about the best way to manage your time. Learn to say "No" and don't work during evenings, weekends, holidays or lunchbreaks. Get enough sleep and eat regularly. Get some exercise. Go for a run, for a swim or to the gym. And do something creative. If you don't paint, draw or write, try cooking, gardening or DIY.'

Cait says, 'If you don't want to feel anxious, how do you want to feel instead? How about relaxed, confident, happy and hopeful? Now ask yourself: "What would need to be different in my life to enable me to feel how I want to feel?" Having identified what needs to be different, ask yourself: "What steps can I take to start making the changes I want?" And lastly: "What is the first step that I can take right now?"

'That little voice of worry pipes down when it has been heard, taken seriously, and acted on,' says Cait. 'It will pipe up again when you need another nudge – and you can welcome it and be grateful for it when it does so.'