Suffering from middle-age dread?

Here’s how to get your confidence back

Over 40 and over the hill? Not likely! By embracing the mid-life challenge, you can get back on top and find that life is more exciting now than ever...

 

It's a fear that can strike even the most well-adjusted of women - the realisation that after two decades spent juggling work, home and family, perhaps the best years of your life are behind you.

 

But while you might not feel like shouting your age from the rooftops, there's never been a better time to be 40-plus, according to life coach Fiona Harrold.

 

‘Thinking that it's all downhill from now on is very last century!' she says. ‘Our limitations and the boundaries of what you can do at a certain age are being pushed all the time.' According to Fiona, wondering, ‘Where do I go from here?' is a positive sign. ‘Let's face it, "What do I want to do with my life?" is a fascinating conversation to have with yourself!' she says.

 

So, rather than fretting that your grown-up children don't really need you any more, or that your skin isn't as fresh and peachy as it once was, grab the opportunity to reinvent yourself and put your own needs first. Mid-life can offer a second chance, whether it's education, a new career or travel, says psychologist Dr Terri Apter, author of 'Secret Paths' (WW Norton, £9.95). She has studied the lives of 40-something women, and found that most would rather try and fail than not try at all. ‘You want to redress the balance of your life, or pick up something you've dropped earlier,' she explains. ‘Mid-life is a time for reorganising your thoughts. You can now say, "I'm going ‘Mid-life can offer a second chance, whether it's a new career or travel'

 

Now is the time to revisit those dreams you weren't able to realise before you had a family, or later when your family demanded so much of your time. It might seem strange, but now is the time to focus on you - and your happiness!

 

Ultimately, successfully surfing the highs and lows of middle age comes down to attitude. If your relationship is stuck in a rut, think about ways to spice it up - like a surprise weekend away in a country you haven't visited before. Instead of wasting time worrying about your grey hair and saggy tummy, make an appointment for highlights and sign up with a personal trainer. Stay fit and active, and look to sexy older women such as Carol Vorderman, 48, and actress Kim Cattrall, 52, for inspiring role models. Believe in yourself and you won't feel that offering yourself up to TV's '10 Years Younger' is the only answer.

 

‘Cosmetic surgery is missing the real point,' says Glynis Kelly, sociology lecturer at Cornwall College. ‘If you constantly strive for something else, you're not embracing the possibilities of really living in the moment, enjoying every day, learning new skills, meeting new people, travelling to exciting new places, and generally celebrating everything good about just "being". Embrace the postmodern view of age, and you can be whatever age you want to be!'

 

Take our quick quiz to see whether you're ageing confidently 

 

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