Quiz

Quiz: How big a bitch are you?

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Take our quiz to discover your bitchiness level

Find out just how you rate on the bitch scale, with our quick quiz. By Viki Wilson...

1

You're at the school gates when one of the other mums who's had your daughter over remarks that your daughter is a ‘big eater'. Which of these is your most likely response?

'Well, it's better than being a big fat liar like your Sarah!'
Genuinely panicked that you're turning your little girl into the Bessy Bunter you ask all the other parents if they think she's a bit overweight.
'I like to encourage her to enjoy a healthy diet. We wouldn't want our little girls to start getting eating disorders by passing on our own neurotic hang-ups now. Would we?...'

2

While you're out with workmates, everyone starts complimenting your main rival on a pretty new top which she's claiming she got from Jigsaw. You happen to know it's from Asda. Do you...

Tell her she's been ripped off.
Keep schtum. After all, if she can pass it off as Jigsaw maybe you can do the same.
Remark just how spookily alike your new £8 top from the supermarket is to her ‘obviously more expensive' version.

3

Your mother-in-law is really competitive with you in the kitchen. When you find out that her legendary homemade Italian sauce is actually from the supermarket, how do you handle it?

Once you've finished broadcasting the news to your family and friends, you think about starting one of those viral emails or hiring a big billboard poster...
Delightedly tell your husband when he comes in from work - but mention it to no one else
Bide your time until a big family event, then casually walk into the living room after dinner with the empty jars and ask where her recycling bin is?

4

Your annoyingly pretty sister-in-law arrives at a family barbecue with a mini skirt. She's 48 but has surprisingly good legs and is getting plenty of admiring looks. What's your reaction...

'Blimey Anna, talk about mutton dressed as lamb...'
‘You look fabulous'
You smile sweetly and plan to tackle all this ogling with a sneaky tomato ketchup spillage as soon as is practical.

5

Your best friend's three-year-old daughter is the darling of the school play, until she stumbles over her dress and announces ‘Oh f***' as the lights go down. What do you say to her mum?...

What a finale!
Tell her you‘re sure no one actually heard the swearing.
Tell her that her daughter is just perfect for the stage - maybe she could be the supporting act for Roy Chubby Brown

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