King of the composter

A man's eyeview of how to deal with kitchen waste

Not everything that goes on in the kitchen is incredibly creative. Some of the jobs are just plain dirty. And that's when our man in the kitchen, Jack Shamash, comes into his own.

 

As the man of the household, I have a number of roles. Over the last few years, for example, I have become the ‘designated killer'. If anything needs to be killed - from a housefly to a mouse in the garden - it is my job to despatch it as swiftly as possible. Every few days I will hear a scream from my daughter and rush downstairs to squash the life out of a hapless spider. It is part of my duty as a man.

 

I have recently acquired a new role: I am now the king of the composter. It is my job to decide what goes into the small green bin in the kitchen. And it is my job to empty the contents of the green bin into our composter at the end of the garden. I also have to make sure that the composter is working properly.

 

It feels good to deal with your own kitchen waste and give it back to nature. As king of the composter, my feral side comes out - I bond with the land and we are one. Also the number of black bags the council picks up from us has gone down significantly. Want to give composting a go and get feral with me? Here's how I go about it...

 

I've bought a great big 200 litre composter from the local council for a fiver. It's a pretty hefty piece of plastic, with a thick perforated base, a solid, hinged lid and a flap at the front for emptying it.

 

In theory, my green bin in the kitchen is only supposed to be for peelings, raw fruit and flower stems. In practise I'll put in old cereal, crusts of bread, rice and cooked vegetables. The only thing I won't put in is meat or fish, which will stink and attract houseflies. Oh, and I also put in grass clippings and any garden waste.

 

Because cooked food can attract rats, I ensure that the food is well rotted - and so less attractive to rats - before it goes into the garden. I then pour it into the top of the composter and make sure that the lid and the hinged door are on properly. Any rat wanting to eat our old food, will have to somehow chew through the base of the composter and tunnel upwards through the compost, which would be almost impossible. TIP: You can get composters without a base - don't buy one. In my opinion the base is vital for keeping out rats.

 

My composter has a little door at the side, and every few weeks I open the door and take out the finished compost. This can either be put into plant pots or can be used as a mulch - spread over the soil around plants. It will fertilise the soil, keep down weeds and - in summer - will prevent the loss of water through evaporation. All good stuff, but here's the best bit...

 

Every few days, I put in a big stick and give the contents a good stir. It gives me a great feeling of satisfaction to open up the top of the composter and feel the warmth coming out the of decomposing waste and to watch the clouds of tiny flies buzzing around. If I can see this, then I know that all the muck is composting nicely and I am truly a good and just ‘king' - all is well in the composting province over which I rule.

 

JACK SHAMASH puts meals on the family table every night of the week at his home in north London. He also writes for The Times, The Guardian and Horticulture Week (so he knows a lot about fruit and veg)

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