'I changed the way I thought - and lost six stone'

A busy working mother, Lynn Walcott, mother of Arsenal and England footballer Theo, never worried about her size. In her own words, she explains how, when she found the time and energy to focus on herself, the weight fell too.

'This time last year I was a size 22 - "comfortable in my skin", as a friend commented - with no plans to change. Now I am a size 12 and almost wonder how I got to this so quickly. There must have been some celestial plan, some grand alignment of stars...

'I can trace the start of my journey back to July 2009 when I first noticed a loss of appetite. I was also beginning to think that menopause was on the horizon. My periods have always been like clockwork, but they took on a stop/start pattern over the course of a week. I became unsettled in my work and began to look forward to socialising instead - unusual for me. A kind of zest took hold, my interests broadened and I actually started to care about myself.

'There were two other factors that coincided with my new energy: my son Theo bought a house with a pool and I started swimming regularly; and my daughter was researching courses on nutrition. So, against the backdrop of my daily life, there was a constant gentle reminder of health and fitness.

'Throughout my adult life, I had never thought of myself as fat, despite being around a size 20 for almost 20 years (I'm 46 now). I've always been active, walking the dogs regularly, and I don't have any physiological complaints apart from late-onset asthma, which is very mild. Before each of my three children were born I was a size 12, but after we were posted to Belgium with my husband Don's RAF job for three years in the early 1990s, our thriving social life (and the loss of my only full-length mirror) soon put paid to that and the pounds crept on. Then my years of working shifts as a NHS midwife and subsequent poor eating habits only compounded the gain. My weight has never been an issue for Don, though - he never made any noises about getting back the woman he married. I didn't know exactly how much I weighed - and didn't care. So, what changed? For me, it was a mental shift. And it more or less happened overnight.

'My diet had never been shameful, but I made the wrong choices and simply ate too much. Breakfast would be porridge, followed by buttered toast and sometimes fried eggs. Lunch would be sandwiches or a pie. I would snack throughout the day before dinner, which would usually be a fish or rice dish. I had cake with my morning coffee and a pudding after my evening meal.

'My daughter, Hollie, is a busy mother of two and very fit - she's also a vegan. A year ago, she advised me to cut down on dairy and try tofu. I didn't always stick to three meals a day and have always been a bit of a grazer. Hollie taught me to see my grazing as meals so - like her - I started to eat six smaller meals a day instead.

'I now have cereal for breakfast and then snack through the day on handfuls of dried fruit and nuts, rye bread, oatcakes or perhaps even some dark chocolate. My main meal - which I might eat at lunch or in the afternoon - is now a huge salad with at least 15 different foods, or a plate of vegetables, perhaps stir-fried with tofu. I never count calories and only eat when I'm genuinely hungry.

'I still love cakes and chocolate, but I enjoy them occasionally, not out of habit. When we eat out, if there's something on the menu I fancy, I'll have it. I swim for an hour or so - continuously, but not hard - three times a week, and take a leisurely walk with the dogs on other days. My new lifestyle is undoubtedly easier now that I'm a self employed midwife and work part-time.

'What I have found most interesting is how my changing shape has affected others. The first to notice were friends I don't see often. When I'd gone down from a size 22 to 18, one or two of them commented on it. For the first time I saw that the women who ate for pleasure, rather than fighting a constant battle with food in their heads, tended to be the slimmer ones. They chose fruit puddings and had first courses with grains and pulses and lots of vegetables.

'As time went on, people closer to me began to see a difference. Women always want to know how I did it - as though they thought I'd discovered some secret way of losing weight other than eating less and exercising more! Men are less sure of how to react - often anxious not to cause offence. I get, ‘You look well' or once, "Gosh, Lynn, you look fantastic" in such a tone that I couldn't resist commenting that obviously he previously thought I'd looked awful! I can't deny I like the quiet approach of some men who openly look me up and down in an admiring way. I'm way past caring about equality, feminism or being PC when it comes to compliments!

'One of my friends made the comment that "you must be having an affair". Clearly then, women only lose weight for men, for sex? I laughed this off as a daft suggestion - I have been married and happily faithful for 27 years! Now people are asking me when I am going to stop and warning me not to overdo it. I think that seeing someone look drastically slimmer triggers a concern in some. In others, it exerts a subtle pressure that they must also lose weight, or perhaps is a reminder of when they've failed in the past.

'Previously, I ignored magazine articles about weight loss, but I now read them with interest. How did my experience compare? I found it shocking. The women featured often blame their weight issues for everything wrong in their life before revealing amazing stories of weight loss, but only after what sounds like a miserable time.

'An interesting thing has happened to me, though - a small negative among my positive experiences. Strangely, I now feel chubby. Outrageous, considering that I've gone from 17st to around 11st in nine months - I am now a healthy weight for my 5ft 6in height. I've lost six stone, so why do I feel more conscious of my size than I did before? I suppose everything is relative. I look in the mirror a lot more, naked, staring, watching my changing shape with interest. I'm not repulsed by the folds of soft flesh that remain; the concentration of stretch marks or increase in facial wrinkles - I'm actually rather fascinated.

'But I now see myself from a different point of view. Now I see Lynn, the woman who would like to wear slim-fit jeans, perhaps shorts in the summer, or some sexy underwear. Not Lynn, the mother and midwife with too little time to worry about how she looks, particularly as she never felt there was a problem anyway. An inner confidence seems to have protected me from feeling conscious about my size despite appearances on TV, in newspapers, or simply mixing with young and beautiful people in the world of football.

'The whole family is so proud, and the children love the fact that Don has joined in and lost three stone too. Hollie, 26, makes comments about my diet and health, rather than how I look, whereas the boys are more about the appearance! Ashley, 23, keeps saying how small I look now, and Theo, 21, has helpfully commented that my belly used to be really big!

'My message to other women in their 40s is to embrace the positive side of hormonal changes, and seize the opportunity to change with the change. I am still at the early stages of menopause and, as with all life cycles, believe that if we work with them, not against them, the differences become more acceptable.

'So, it's off to luxury underwear specialist Rigby & Peller for me, a present from my husband (my suggestion!). Not believing in cosmetic surgery, a different approach is needed to shape what remains. Perhaps a massage or a wax? Should I dye my hair and get a new style? No, no, no! See what vanity brings. I am wearing make-up more and more often. I like myself now, as I did before. The exterior is not all-important; it is what is on the inside that counts. I shall keep my trademark long grey hair; I may enjoy a massage, that's nice. But most of all, I shall go on living healthily and happily.'

Main photo: Martin and Jessica Reftel Evans. Hair and make-up: Becca Harrison 

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