Sex and the middle-aged man

Mature couple having an intimate moment, sex advice from

No more morning glory

Once men hit middle age, morning erections usually just mean they need to pee. Spontaneous erections are a thing of the past, too.

A little more limp

Gone are the days he could hang a bath towel on it. Now his erections aren’t so firm. The length and circumference will change as well and not for the better.

He may not be in the mood

Testosterone levels drop by half a per cent each year after the age of 40, which can result in low libido. He’ll still ask for sex, he just won’t beg for it any more.

A good warm-up

Direct action is called for. He’ll need a lot of foreplay to get in the mood, but more for him should mean more of a warm-up for you, too.

Break time

It could be the end of those marathon sex sessions. He won’t be able to get it up again quite so quickly. As he gets older, he’ll need a longer rest in-between.

Longer lovers

What took only a few seconds when he was a teenager now requires a good 15 minutes. He might be hung up about taking longer to get erect and to climax. But are you complaining now he’s finally learnt to take his time? No!

Elusive ejaculation

There may be times when he can’t get there, no matter how hard he tries. And if he does make it, there’s likely to be less of it and it won’t be so forceful.

Wonky willies

Peyronie’s disease usually comes on after 40. It affects one in every 100 men and is more common if your man has high blood pressure or diabetes. The disorder can cause willies to bend and make erections painful. But it’s not always a problem and help is available.

Dry orgasms

If your chap’s had any treatment down below, it can trigger retrograde ejaculation. Semen that would normally be ejaculated gets redirected to the bladder. His climax will feel different and not as intense, and his wee will be cloudy.

He won't get help

If there are sex problems, drag him to see the doctor. These days, thanks to advances in drugs, psychological treatments and surgical techniques, success rates are over 90 per cent.

The drugs do work

Drugs such as Viagra and Cialis benefit 70-80 per cent of men using them. But they don’t affect desire – they’ll only give a man an erection if he’s sexually aroused by you.

Get over it

Don’t fight your changing sex life – get used to it. Go for quality rather than quantity, and explore the possibilities of real intimacy. Don’t worry about your body – he still finds you attractive. It’s thought our brains rewire in middle age and long-term partners seem more alluring than they really are.

You might also like…

How to make lust last
Ten of the best vaginal lubricants
Enjoy sex as you get older


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