Vibrators: take control of your sex life
Introducing a vibrator to your sex life can be a daunting process, but sex therapist Anna Kingsley lays all your fears to rest
I shouldnt need a vibrator, its not natural
Many of us feel like that at first. Were worried that any orgasm we have with a vibrator will be artificial and we wont be able to take credit for it. But becoming aroused with the help of a sex toy is the same process as being aroused by any other means its just that some of us just need a little more stimulation. Its also worth remembering that masturbating with a vibrator can actually be good for you it keeps your Kegel muscles toned and your libido charged.
But Im too embarrassed...
Dont be. Since 'Sex And The City' made them OK, theres nothing shameful about owning a vibrator. Nearly 60 per cent of women have one, and 75 per cent of those that do are married.
I couldnt go into a shop and buy one
Thanks to the internet, you dont have to. Try a female-friendly site like www.sh-womenstore.co. The Rampant Rabbit is the most popular vibrator, but there are lots of kinds out there so shop around. Its worth reading the user reviews first.
Wont it ruin normal sex for me?
Does driving stop you enjoying a walk? Of course not. Its just that sometimes you want to get where youre going faster and thats what a vibrator offers. But even if you use yours a lot, it still wont affect the way your body responds to sex with a human being.
Im worried what my husband will think
Vibrators dont get tired and theyre always up for it. No wonder many of us think our men would be threatened by our sex toys. And yes, some men are too insecure to share their bed with a gadget thats bigger, firmer and more efficient than themselves. But 70 per cent actually have no problem with women using vibrators.
What if I want to use one with him?
Many women do just be tactful. Dont terrify him by pulling out a giant one. Bigger doesnt always mean better, anyway. Begin by using the vibrator on different muscle areas of each others bodies, then move on to the genitals. It doesnt all have to be about you, either. Some men enjoy vibrator stimulation on their genitals too, although others may find it too intense.
To find a local sex therapist, visit cosrt.org.uk
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